Have you ever noticed a penny in a strange place?
Ever spotted one on the street? …on the sidewalk? …on a bus seat? …in a stored jewelry box? …on the closet floor? …the kitchen cookbook shelf?
Have you ever noticed a penny on a plate of Froasted Fish with Olives and Tomatoes? Okay. So maybe that’s a fake siting from my cut-and-paste to get your attention. But the other sitings reflect real times for me when pennies began appearing out of nowhere, especially during challenges, wins, losses, fear and more.
Pennies From Heaven?
March 3, 2003, marks the date my mother earned her promotion to ancestor. Then, following her memorial service a week later, a small elderly woman approached my sister and me with the comforting story she explained as “passed down among our people for generations.”
“When you see a penny in an unusual place, it represents someone who has passed away, who is now by your side, encouraging you, supporting you, even dissuading you from making a bad choice,” she had said, before adding an instruction with a kind smile.
“Most people don’t notice these ‘ancestor pennies’ until they’ve heard the story….so from now on, begin keeping your eyes open for pennies. And don’t miss a chance to pass this story along to others who need to hear it,” she said.
I did. And if feels as if Mom’s been with me every day since I first began noticing pennies.
“Grief is a personal journey, never the same for any two people and as unique as your life and your relationships,” Sameet M. Kumar writes in Grieving Mindfully (see books). Not only do I agree, but this first-born daughter feels deeper-than-deep gratitude for more than two decades of penny reminders.
And keeping in mind that unlike the advice I once learned from a nursery rhyme, I don’’t “pick up” these one-cent coins for good luck. “See a penny pick it up. And all the day you’ll have good luck.
These pennies mean much more.
Instead of picking them up, I usually pause after first noticing one, take a deep breath—and then whisper, “Thanks, Mom.”
"In search of my mother's garden, I found my own."
— Alice Walker
This weekend I’m remembering Mom’s recipe inspiration when she cheerfully substituted “best-available” Great Migration supermarket frozen fish for the delicious fresh Gulf Coast seafood she grew up enjoying almost daily in her Mobile, AL hometown.
Her long-ago handwritten recipe notes described “Froasted“ as a fried and roasted combination, “more-roasted-than-fried” for a no-meat Friday family dinner during Lent.
Froasted Fish Tips
1 pound raw cod or other firm fish, cut into bite-size 1-inch-thick chunks, thawed if frozen
3 egg whites, beaten
1 1/2 cups saltine cracker crumbs, see note
1 tablespoon Creole seasoning
Peanut oil
Yogurt Horseradish Sauce, see note
Heat oven to 475 degrees. Place fish chunks in a medium bowl; add egg whites. Toss the fish chunks until each piece is completely coated; set aside at least 10 minutes. Meanwhile, place cracker crumbs and Creole seasoning in a large food storage bag or brown paper bag. Shake bag gently to combine.
Heat 1-inch of oil in a large heavy skillet to 375 degrees. Add half of the fish chunks to the bag filled with seasoned crumbs; shake gently to coat. Add a single layer of fish to hot oil, careful not to overcrowd. Cook, turning frequently, until fish begins to lightly crisp and brown. Transfer fish to a foil-covered, lightly-oiled baking pan. Roast fish until crisp, brown and cooked through, about 8 to 10 minutes. Serve with Yogurt Horseradish Sauce and Mom’s favorite black olives and cherry tomatoes. Makes about 3 servings.
Note: purchase cracker crumbs or prepare your own by crushing saltine square or oyster crackers in a food processor. One sleeve of crackers makes about 1 1/2 cups of crumbs.
To make Yogurt Horseradish Sauce, stir 1 tablespoon of prepared horseradish into one cup of (0)fat Greek-style yogurt.
Books about Grief and Grieving From the Skillet Diaries Library
The Courage to Grieve: The Classic Guide to Creative Living, Recovery, and Growth Through Grief by Judy Tatelbaum (Harper, 2008)
God Knows You're Grieving: Things to Do to Help You Through by Joan Guntzelman (Sorin, 2001)
Grieving Mindfully: A Compassionate and Spiritual Guide to Coping with Loss by Sameet M. Kumar, PhD (New Harbinger, 2005)
Healing After Loss: Daily Meditations for Working Through Grief by Martha Whitmore Hickman (Perennial, 2002)
What the Dead Have Taught Me About Living Well by Rebecca Rosen and Samantha Rose (Rodale, 2017)
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